Living “numb” is a state of mind – but a dangerous one to be in. When you’re numb you cut off feelings, change becomes overwhelming, it’s a vicious cycle emotionally and physically, and it’s challenging to get yourself out of it.
This is what I think makes the difference between being successful in your life – attaining goals, etc, or not. It’s the ability to face the hard facts of being numb and “waking” up to create change..
The other night I watched an episode of Jillian Michaels’s “losing It” TV show on traveling to various homes throughout the country to help ordinary people lose weight. No celebrities.
I cried. Because I felt their pain. Then I thought “crap, would I really want Jillian coming to MY house to help me lose weight?” Nope. She’s a female gladiator!
She was right up in the faces of these people giving them orders “put the food down”, “Get back on that bike!”. Whew! Have some compassion lady!
But, then I got to thinking. These people are living numb, on auto pilot, not thinking about what they’re doing or how it’s affecting others. And many times it’s fear, low self-esteem, life disappointments, losses, and so much more that causes a numb emotional life.
Julian goes for the jugular and wakes them up… watch this video.
One thing I have learned in my life, that I treasure is this: No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard you cry, no matter how unpleasant, waking up and facing it – what ever that is – will lead you to a better place in life, always. These are growing pains and is the essence of living a life you want.
Fear can actually be a motivator to move you towards your goals. But do you want to be bullied into change? Or do it slowly and quietly. Which style is best?
How to use fear as a friend and motivator:
- experience the fear, let it happen and fester
- WRITE down what the fear is about, what’s causing it
- ask what small action could you do to face it
- then DO it and repeat many times until it no longer bothers you
- once you master that small action, what would the next action be to override the fear
For example, lets say you dream of giving presentations, or want to be a speaker. The worst thing would be to actually give a speech with many people! But what if you practiced talking at yourself in the bathroom mirror? In front of a small group of friends to “test” the waters? Each time you do this you get more comfortable, and most importantly you gain confidence and success in speaking. The more you do it, the more you ready yourself to take on the real speaking event.
For Jillian, she only has a week to get these families to “shape up” (I think “shake up) and it seems to work. I have to wonder though … What happens after she’s gone?
I still don’t know if I would want Jillian to come to my house. I think it’s enough as I do my treadmill exercise to imagine her yelling at me “don’t you DARE get off the treadmill!”
Yikes!
If you’d like to leave a comment, please do. Thank you in advance.
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Hi Lesly,
My substance abuse clients have disconnected from their underlying painful emotions. With each disconnection from their emotion, they get further and further away from who they truly are, their higher self. After years and years of abuse, they experience a rebound effect: ANY emotion (good or bad) becomes painful.
In the case of these people asking Jillian for help with their weight loss, Jillian’s ‘harsh’ words are probably more for show biz and ratings than for actually long-term change. Fear (as in fearing Jillian yelling, so they keep up the exercise or diet) is a motivator but a short-lived motivator.
You made a great list in how to overcome the fears of limiting beliefs, which keep people chained to a life unfulfilled. Taking the first step is important; small changes build momentum and accelerate your progress to achieving your goals.
Larry Akers´s last blog ..Leaving Your Comfort Zone May Be Easier Than You Think
Lesly,
Thank you so much for this article. It really go us thinking about things we do without the awareness of what we are really doing, how this affects us now and where it will take our lives.
For us it’s about being aware… and oh yes, sometimes we end up on auto-pilot… not a good place to be.
Thanks for the awareness lesson!
~ Pat and Lorna
http://TheCoolestCouple.com
Hi Pat and Lorna,
Thank you for your comments and visit. It’s so easy to go on “auto pilot”… but doing that and living “numb”, you can miss so much in life – things that really matter.
Lesly,
Thanks for such a deep post. We all get numb and paralyzed by fear at some point. I love your suggestions for making friends with our fear and moving forward. Your posts are always so helpful for me in deepening my practice.
Thanks again,
Adam
Dr. Adam Sheck´s last blog ..Can’t Buy Me Love: How Do Finances Affect Your Relationship?
Adam, how great of you to stop by, I am honored by your comment! YOU teach me so much with your posts as well… thank you for the visit
Lesly, thanks for another great post. The real question is: To bring about change, what factors come into play for a person living numb? Only they can answer – do they want more of their unhappy lives or do they wish for complete transformation?
If I were morbidly overweight and had a crap self image, had tried every diet under the sun to no avail, and really wanted a new life I’d be lining up days ahead to sign up for Jillian’s kick-ass program.
The key point is to want it.
Stew Shaw´s last blog ..World Cup Vuvuzela Multiple Choice Question
Hey Stew,
Thanks again for your post! Even if you want it, you have to wake up for it….right? People do itin diffentways and what ever works for them is the best…
lesly´s last blog ..Birth Voices Festival Teleseminar
Lesly,
You really gave food for thought here. There are times (for me) when gentle persuasion is best. I would rebel against in your face actions. But there are times when I was up against a decision that really pushed my limits and demanded immediate action. Tough decisions.
I think with in your face – you tend to block any lasting results and just go through the motions to get them off your case. Not congruent at all.
Great post with infinite possibilities. Thanks for sharing this,
Val
Val Wilcox´s last blog ..When the Why is Big Enough…
Hi Lesly,
I’m thrilled to be on your blog and to read your post. You are addressing such deep core issues and this is critical for all of us if we are to grow. On some level, I guess that the right path is “whatever it takes”. If someone is that numb, maybe the threats, etc., are needed to get through the barrier of numbness.
Thanks for giving us this concept to think about.
Mentor Mama
Thank you much Nancy for leading me to this post from Facebook.
Lesly great post I trust more on this topic will come to dig further into it and further help each of us out there digg deeper and find that way through as you point out that is so worth it to reach those better places. Thank YOU going to link to this from my new blog too just what I needed today.
~Expect Miracles
Mentor Mama
thank you for your comment and visit. Yes, it certainly depends on the person and what it will take for them to create change in their lives.. awareness is always the first step…
Losing It looks like a great show…I wasn’t familiar with it before reading your post.
On the subject of gaining confidence in yourself as a speaker, I actually laughed when I read your remark about talking to yourself in the mirror…because I do that ALL THE TIME. I recently started taking mirrors DOWN in my house, because they are in nearly every room, and I constantly catch myself talking to them. As funny as it may sound to people, it’s something that has helped me quite a bit in my speaking career.
Mandee
Hi Mandee,
LOL! I know it works. I’ve done it many times myself as well when I had to do a presentation… thank you for stopping by!
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
One thing I have learned in my life, that I treasure is this: No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard you cry, no matter how unpleasant, waking up and facing it – what ever that is – will lead you to a better place in life, always. These are growing pains and is the essence of living a life you want.
That is so true! As much as I don’t like pain, I realize that it is what causes the most growth in my life.
Kevin M.´s last blog ..2 things that keep us from being compassionate
Hey Kevin,
It’s a hard truth to accept, but things are always better on the other side…
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
Great post Lesly. I started crying to just thinking about it as you wrote and knowing how it feels to be scared and fearing to move forward. I think some day’s I would love to have Jillian come to my place and wake me up and work with me. I do okay by myself, but I know in my heart I can do much much better. I always keep working at it. I will have to try and catch that show one night and see what it is like. Thanks for the great post and wake up call. Hope your having an amazing Tuesday.
Hi Julie, for some people, like myself as well, the weight is about other personal issues, for some is metabolic…each day if we, I, you, do something to work at it, it gets easier. Alot of it has to do with what we tell ourselves- or” talk” ourselves into believing … I support you in your journey 100%…
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
Personally Lesly, Jillian is not my cup of tea. You hit it squarely with the comment “What happens after she’s gone?” There are better methods I’m sure. However your post hit a very needy subject that needs to be address.
Nelson, thanks for your coment. I guess it boils down to personality type. People respond differently to weight loss and trainers. But it seems to me – a week of helping these families is too short. It’s human nature to slip back to whats familiar…and all that hard work could go down the drain!
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
Fabulous information and I love watching Jillian go from the hard hearted voice of reason to the compassionate voice of reason when she needs to. Love is tough but that is essentially what she brings back into the lives of those who living unconsciously. Great post Lesly! Keep it up girl!
Kellie Frazier´s last blog ..Connecting to The Power of Questions and Being a Leader in Communication
Hey Kellie,
thanks for your coment. She does have a compassionate side and “wakes” them up to reconnect with what matters in their lives..
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
So many people are satisfied with just going through the motions. You gotta LIVE life…we’ve only got one shot at this.
Barry so true …
taking action is the key, not just going through the motion,
thanks for your coment!
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
Hi Lesly,
Very nice post. This is something I can relate to. I like your list of how to use fear. I have some areas that where fear is a challenging problem.
Melodie
Melodie Kantner´s last blog ..Advertising Mistake That Will Sink Your Business
Hi Melodie, thank you for stopping by! We all have fear, and it’s taken me a long time to befriend it. I hope my post gave you some ideas..:-)
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?
Hi Leslie,
How true it is that living numb can be dangerous to your emotional health and self esteem. And, the deeper you may allow yourself to get, the more difficult it is to “crawl” out of. I liked your do it slowly and quietly style best because, from my own personal experience, that is what has always worked the best and what keeps it real the longest (vs. what you mentioned on bullied/fast and what will keep those individuals motived later). I really enjoyed your post
Christine
Christine Casey´s last blog ..How to Make Social Media Work for You
Christine,
Thanks so much for your coment. I am like you – go slow, finish strong and use that experience as a resource for other challenges.. thanks agin
lesly´s last blog ..How Wide and Deep Is Your Self-Talk Gap?